


C'est la Vie

by atlaswho



Series: Les Misérables au [1]
Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Les Mis AU, M/M, Unrequited, this was inevitable im surprised i lasted this long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-25 12:51:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3811177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atlaswho/pseuds/atlaswho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How strange, this feeling that my life's begun at last, this change.. can people really fall in love so fast? What's the matter with you, Aoba? Have you been too much on your own? So many things unclear, so many things unknown.</p>
            </blockquote>





	C'est la Vie

**Author's Note:**

> It’s a sort of dramatical (ha) interpretation of three of the songs into a short 2k snippet. Enjoy. (some bits were rearranged and moved to make sense, it doesnt follow the songs exactly.)

It had been so brief, such a fleeting moment that Aoba couldn’t help but wonder if he’d imagined it completely. Had his time alone had driven him to madness, creating visions in crowds as if he were imagining an oasis in a never ending desert? Perhaps, thought it was no matter; his father would keep him within the walls of his home regardless.

And still…

How strange that such an encounter (if one could even call it that) would ignite such life within him. Even as a child he had never had much liveliness, perhaps for a while when his father first found him lost in the woods. That man, though, tall and lean and a bright look in his eyes unlike anything Aoba had ever seen before, the memory of his glance in Aoba’s direction set his heart a flutter. This change… Can people really fall in love so fast?

“What’s the matter with you, Aoba,” he muttered to himself, drawing away from the window, and lighting the lamp as the sun set behind the buildings.  _You’ve been too much on your own_ , he thought. There was so much about himself he found he had yet to discover. Unable to interact with anyone other than his Papa he didn’t quite have a grasp on himself, never grew out of his childish curiosity.

In his life there were so many questions that Aoba had that would seemingly remain unanswered. It’s as if a world that he wanted nothing more than to be a part of was just out of reach, and for the first time since she was a child, an opening had appeared to her. His messy hair and his untucked shirt were characteristic of a world she longed to be a part of, and he had looked back at her. Even if he was real, would he feel the same way? Would the connection really be there? Was it just a figment of Aoba’s imagination?

Despite all of this, Aoba felt in his heart that he was no longer as alone as he always was, now that a possibility was so near, barely a whisper away from his fingertips.

If fate allowed, maybe they might meet again.

“Aoba.”

Broken from his trance, Aoba met his father’s gaze. His eyes were soft and forlorn, and he opened his arms to Aoba, who accepted them gratefully.

“You’re such a lonely child,” he muttered into Aoba’s hair, “how quiet it must be with only me for company.”

He had meant it jokingly, but the pain his father felt was clear in his voice. Aoba knew that his Papa wanted nothing but the best, wanted nothing but for Aoba to live a comfortable life but he would never tell him why.

“Papa…” Aoba begun, pulling away, meeting his father’s dark eyes, “there’s so much that I want to know of who you were all those years ago,” but before he’d even finished, his father had turned, walking quickly down the dark hallway. Aoba continued after him, determined perhaps to get something out of him, “there’s so little that you say. Why do you keep to yourself? Why are we always alone?”

“Please, Aoba.”

Aoba huffed, and reached out for his father’s arm, stopping him in his tracks, silently asking for him to look at him. He wasn’t angry, he was never angry with his Papa, and he did not want to hurt him. Aoba knew that there were so many secrets that he was keeping so dark and deep within himself, but he didn’t want his father to shoulder that burden alone.

“Please forgive what I say,” he said softly, “you are loving, and gentle, and good. But Papa in your eyes I’m still the child you found lost in the woods.”

Nain sighed.

“No more words.” He said shortly, but with no malice, “It’s a time that’s dead. It’s better that it goes unsaid.” Looking as though he was finished, Aoba’s shoulders sagged, deflated, defeated. Nain took him by the shoulders, and smiled at him, before continuing. “You will learn. Truth is given by God to us all in our time.”

Aoba was not satisfied with that answer, but it would have to do, for now.

 

* * *

 

“Monsieur Ren!”

Clear dashed through the crowds of people, a crumpled piece of paper crushed in his fist as he ran. On it was an address, the strange boy that Ren had seen briefly in the marketplace several days ago. Every fibre of his being ached at the thought of Ren loving another person, that his heart would fall for someone else so quickly, that even Clear himself could have fallen for the stranger, too.

It wasn’t fair for him to be so alone, but he would never admit such a thing. In his heart he knew that if he was worthy of Ren’s love, he would receive it. That if the stranger with striking royal blue hair was meant to love him, they would have glanced at him, instead. That was the way it was.

Ren turned away from his conversation as soon as he heard Clear’s voice chime over the crowd. Coming to a sudden stop, Clear puffed the hair from his eyes and presented him with the crumpled piece of paper.

“I found them,” he murmured, “this is where they are, Monsieur Ren, come with me, let me take you to them!”

Ren’s heart was pounding in his chest, the thrill of it all, it was happening so fast. What a wonderful companion Clear was, so loyal and generous in ways Ren had never seen of anyone else before. They ran together, Clear small enough to dodge the crowd more easily, but patient enough to wait at turnings for Ren to catch up.

As they passed into an alleyway, they slowed to a jog, and Ren couldn’t keep the grin off his face, his eyes glinting with excitement. Heartbroken as he was, Clear couldn’t help but smile back.

That stranger… he seemed to burst like the music of angels into Ren’s life. In that moment he felt as if his entire world has stopped, though something new had begun in the same moment, as if mere seconds had changed him.

“Clear…” Ren began, taking Clear’s hand in his as they jogged, “You’re the friend who has brought me here, to him.” Clear couldn’t help but giggle at the attention, dancing playfully around him as he led Ren through the now dark alleys as the sun set. “This is all thanks to you!” he finished, looking ahead, picking up his pace a little.

Every word was like a dagger in Clear’s heart. Nowhere in Clear’s life had there been anyone like him, no one that showed him such kindness and affection, no one that had accepted him so unconditionally like Ren had. When they had first met, Clear was convinced he was hideous and hid behind a mask that covered his nose and mouth. Living on the streets had made it filthy, and Ren had insisted that he removed it.

“You’ll catch your death”, he had said.

“But you’ll think me hideous,” Clear had argued, “You will come to hate me.”

Already too ashamed of himself to look Ren in the eye, he turned away. Ren had caught his face, and stared at him intensely.

“No matter what you look like, you are my friend.” Ren had assured him.

How Clear could bear it was a mystery. His heart ached for Ren every day, yearned to feel that kindness again, ached to kiss away his worries like Ren had with words. In his life, there had been no one like Ren anywhere. If he asked, Clear would be his, unconditionally.

“Here,” Clear mumbled as they turned the final corner, gesturing to a large metal gate, covered in ivy. The plants grew thick behind the gate, and Ren nearly missed the small door hidden by the overgrowth; “he’s waiting here.”

 

* * *

 

Aoba, having given up with his father, returned to the windowsill, from which light no longer was shining through. All he could see was the thick flora growing chaotically up the gate, and he nearly turned to leave, but movement caught his eye. Could it be?

He met the stranger’s eyes, and broke for the door, shutting it quietly behind him so as not to disturb his father.

Ren’s heart was beating so hard he could barely hear anything beyond the rushing of blood in his ears, and the pounding in his chest. Up close, the stranger was even more beautiful. His hair was longer than he remembered, draped gracefully around his neck and over his chest, pinned back at the top carefully. His eyes were such a stunning shade of hazel, so piercing and warm that Ren could not tear his own gaze away from them, as they stared at him, wide and curious.

Can people really fall in love so fast?

Stepping closer to the gate, as close as he could go, he took a shaky breath.

“My name is Seragaki Ren,” he said, weakly. He couldn’t think of what else to say. A smile twitched at the stranger’s lips.

“And mine’s Aoba,” the stranger responded. His voice, oh God his voice, like church bells and birdsong, so soft and sweet, he could barely contain the feelings in his heart.

“Aoba,” he repeated, holding his gaze as Aoba stepped closer, curling his fingers around the gate. “Aoba… I don’t know what to say,” he apologised, and Aoba shook his head.

“Then make no sound,” he whispered.

The two of them so close, barely a gate between them, they were both lost and found simultaneously. Lost in each other, in what to do, in a world neither of them knew, but they had found each other, the certainness of their hearts kept them from being totally lost.

From the shadows, Clear’s heart wanted to run, to run until he could no longer breathe but his legs wouldn’t move. He couldn’t look away. To see them both was so strange, a mix of feelings unlike any other. Seeing Aoba was exhilarating, to see someone so beautiful so close… and his voice was so sweet, his expressions were so soft and gentle, Clear longed for them to be for him. But they were for Ren, and only Ren. And Monsieur Ren would never look at Clear like that, never feel the same ache to touch him.

“A single look and I knew...” Ren began, and Aoba nodded, understanding.

“I knew it too!” He sounded relieved, as if he had been thinking about Ren longingly. They were lost in each other, but they had found each other. Fate had brought them together.

These are words he’ll never say to me. They’re not for me, Clear murmured to himself as his palms began to shake. The loneliness was suddenly so daunting, much more real when he was presented with such conflicting feelings for two people, neither of which gave him a second glance. He was never mine to lose. Why does he regret what he could never have had?

“Aoba?”

A man’s voice from inside the house called, and Aoba gestured for Ren to run. Clear turned tail also, now that the spell had been broken, he darted down the alley, heading straight for the river, where he felt safest. He’d lost Ren somewhere, but he didn’t care. Ren didn’t need Clear to show him the way back. Ren would never need Clear by his side again. He ran as fast as his legs could take him until his lungs were heaving and throat burning. He stopped himself on the wall at the bank of the river, finally alone.

As he caught his breath, Clear noted how pretty the lights looked in the water. It took him a moment to realise that it had started to rain, so caught up in his own little world he was. Clear closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. When he was alone like this, and when he closed his eyes, he could pretend that Ren was by his side. Like this, Clear could pretend that Ren had found love with him, and now, under the full moon he imagined both Ren and Aoba smiling at him like they had at each other. He opened his eyes, and took in the world around him. Like this, everything looked so much more beautiful.

The rain made the pavement shimmer and shine, the river sparkling with starlight, and the trees illuminated by the moon. But Clear knew it was all a dream, deep down, no matter how hard he tried to close himself off in his imagination. He knew it was only in his mind, that he was only talking to himself, rather than to anyone else.

Clear loved them.

Clear loved them both, and when the night was over, when Clear awoke from his dream, they were both gone. The river was just a river, the rain just rain. Without them both, the world was dark again, much more frightening and lonely. The trees were bare, and the streets were full of strangers, and the ache returned to Clear’s heart, hollowing him out completely.

Clear loved Ren, but with each day, with each moment, he was learning that he has only been pretending, completely. There was nothing that Ren saw in Clear. He was unremarkable. Without Clear, Ren’s world would go on turning, especially now with Aoba in it. Ren would live in a world full of happiness that Clear had never known.

“I love them,” Clear mumbled pathetically, tears streaming down his face, hiccups staggering his breath as he slid down the stone wall.  _I love them_ , he repeated to himself, _b_ _ut only on my own_.

**Author's Note:**

> i highly recommend actually listening to the songs after reading this, or even during, it really sets the scene. If you don't already know, the songs here are In My Life, A Heart full of Love, and On My Own (in order). Thank you for reading!


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